My Love Story:I am Ugly With Swag: This Is How I Own My Flaws and Rule My World Part 1...

It's so easy to be attracted to the female folk when you have desirable features. Ask an average girl her dream guy, you will hear answers like; tall, fair, masculine, rich, God fearing, descent, funny etc. Of all the features listed above, I've got none; ok, just a bit of one, 'RICH'. I could be defined with one word, 'ugly'.

Yea, I'm as ugly as it could get. I was taught the history of creation from the bible and I could only come to a conclusion; God created me on a friday evening, close to the sabbath. He must have been tired and worn out from six days of hard work, so he picked the least desirable features and bestowed them on me. 

Maybe he had used all the femurs and humors available, so he had to make do with the stout ones remaining on a friday evening, making me short, dark skinned, big bulging eyes, tiny neck and dry lips. Maybe the skull bones where excessive in abundance and he had to pack the remaining ones to my head, giving me that extra head, a lot bigger than any average guy could have. I guess there still was an abundant flesh remaining and he packed them up on my lion; this is where he got it all right. And the fact that he placed me in a rich family is obviously an act to compensate me for the rest. I'm ugly, and I've got swag!!!

But first impression really matters! That's where my problem with the ladies lies. They prefer the 'Léo Dicaprio' looking guy to a Mr. Ibu looking guy. Its sometimes hard to hook up at first stance, but with time, after few effizy, I find my way into their heart. All I need was to warm my way through the thick ice I always encounter when I come across a girl, melting that thick ice is one adventure I love doing. And that is exactly what I did with Cecilia, who preferred to be called Sissy.

Few years back. . . I met Sissy in a cafe in the Shopping Complex. She must have been having issues with her computer as she kept cursing and dragging the mouse all over the desk. It was either the mouse had technical problems, or she was really having a bad day. Seated adjacent to her, I endured series of laughter trying to burst out from my mouth.

Finally, I decided to help. I offered my help and sat beside her as she did her thing. Funny enough, it wasn't something serious. After the browsing session, I tried to get friendly, but she was snobbish! She wasn't like that when I offered my system to her. I asked for her number and she said she doesn't give out her number anyhow. I knew what the matter was; 'the cold ice.' I needed to warm my way through it. But for Sissy, it seemed the more I tried, the more she resented me. She didn't try to hide her dislike for me. She made this disgusting face when I asked for her number, like it was a taboo. I understood her actions. But I have one amiable quality: I'm patient and persistent. I knew all I had to do was to find a way to melt the ice.

I insisted on getting her number and she reluctantly gave me the digits. I saw her off, she kept her face like I was so disgusting that it would be a taboo being seen alongside me. I didn't let it border me one bit. If only she knew! Although I was heading the same direction as she, I decided to save her the embarrassment of boarding the same vehicle with me and be seen walking her neighbourhood with me. 

 Within the few minutes I walked and talked with Sissy, I noticed one thing about her; she was proud and arrogant! My suspicion got confirmed over the few days that followed. The way she answered me on the phone when we spoke, like it irritated her speaking with me. The way she answered when I suggested coming over to pay her a visit at her apartment. But I don't give up easily! Another amiable quality. When she agreed to let me come over, it was as a result of my continuous asking.

I got to her apartment which she shared with another girl. The other girl was present when I came in, she was on the sit while Sissy lay on the bed, looking tired and spent. I got a rebuttal as soon as I set my foot into the room. Sissy screamed that I leave my shoe outside before stepping into her room. I had already set my foot on the rug, which looked old but well kept. I was embarrassed, I retraced my steps, removed my shoes on the door and stepped in with my bare feet. Patience! I saw the look on her roommate's face after the brief embarrassment. She had this disapproval look on her face.

I introduced myself and Sissy introduced her roomie to me as Nkechi, who preferred to be called Nekky. We both connected almost immediately! Sissy lay on the bed and listened as I and her roommate, Nkechi talked about everything that we had interest in. Surprisingly, we were almost into the same kind of things. Same movie types, same hobbies, I almost launched forward to hug her when she said she was a die hard fan of Chelsea football club. 

"That's my club!"

I exclaimed and Sissy smiled at us as she grasped on her phone and pressed it. I wondered if she was smiling at us or on what she was seeing on her phone.

"Who is your best player at Chelsea?" I asked her.

"I love Drogba! He is an icon of football, being loyal to a club for almost 2 decades now." She replied. 

Sissy was having a great time with her phone as she hardly looked our way. I managed to direct the conversation to more personal topics. We discussed freely and it was obvious I had already succeeded in breaking that thick ice. She later excused herself and left the room and I was left with Sissy once more. 

It was almost an awkward moment with her. She ignored me and surfed away with her phone. I tried engaging her in small talks and her response was abrupt and snappy. I waited a little bit, silently praying that Nekky, the roommate would return. But she didn't.

...to be continued in part 2